No, this post isn’t about bubble people. Rather, it’s about the lines or boundaries between where one person’s body begins and ends in relationship to society. Questions I’ve been thinking about this week include: When is it appropriate to comment on someone’s body (or, it ever appropriate)? How do we use images of bodies in order to justify specific actions? Where does my individual, private body begin/end in relationship to my social, public body?
For example, take pregnant women. I’ve seen (and heard of) situations where strangers feel it’s acceptable to touch a woman’s belly and/or provide her with free advice on mothering/parenting. What is it about the pregnant body that somehow disrupts, or pops, the social bubble? Imagine if that same thing happened to a non-pregnant woman: a stranger randomly touching her belly, or offering her advice on how to live her life. In that situation, it definitely goes beyond socially acceptable norms concerning body-space (a.k.a. one’s personal bubble) as well as stranger interaction. Why, then, is the pregnant body different? Do women have an invisible sign on their belly that says: “This space rented to the public; please visit any time you like”? Or, do they have an invisible sign above their head that reads, “Suggestion box: please comment on my parenting style”? Although these invisible signs questions are meant to be over-the-top and ridiculous, it points to a larger question: When does one’s body cease to be a personal space but a public one?
I’ve tried to think of a parallel situation for men, where strangers may touch male bodies. I think a possible situation involves a muscular man, where people touch his large biceps or flat abs. However, I don’t think it’s quite the same as with pregnant women. With muscular men, it’s conceivable that strangers will ask for permission before touching his muscles (and the muscled men may be flattered). With pregnant women, some strangers may ask for permission to touch her belly, but it seems that more often than not, strangers feel it’s simply ok to do it without asking (as if they already had an unwritten permission from a higher authority, back to the invisible sign theory).
I recognize that body/space issues exist within cultural contexts; however, I’m troubled by the fact it seems women’s bodies can move from private to public without their permission. If women's bodies cease to be personal/private, but exist as social/public, then what happens with individual agency, authority, and a sense of an embodied self? These questions will serve as a good jumping off point for the weeks to come. I will continue to think about just why some boundaries can be crossed whereas others cannot.
I think the imaginary "Rub My Belly" sign comes up because many women have been pregnant and are full of advice to share. After all, there's not really an instruction manual for being pregnant. People think they're being helpful, and don't think about how rude they're being.
ReplyDeleteThat doesn't mean that people have the right to feel up pregnant women's bellies. This is a societal norm that should be challenged.
Interesting post Ruth! I started thinking about why people put their hands on a pregnant woman's belly as I was reading - perhaps there is a subconscious idea that it is not the woman they intend to touch, but the baby inside of her. Also, how often to people that are not well acquainted with the woman actually touch her belly? I was under the impression that this happens more between friends and family...
ReplyDeleteRuth, in line with Phil's comment, I find it interesting that it is typically women who touch other women's bodies. It is rare to observe a situation in which a man is touching a pregnant woman's belly (unless he is her significant other). What, then, is it about women that make it seem as if violating the personal space of a pregnant lady is acceptable? I agree with Phil in that I think the answer lies in almost a sisterhood type of thinking. Women often feel obligated and responsible to pass on their knowledge of the pregnancy experience to other women. It is as if it is a duty. Now, the question I am pondering is "where is this sense of duty created in the first place?"
ReplyDeleteInteresting post. I have three thoughts:
ReplyDelete1.) I don't necessarily subscribe to this view, but is there a certain element of "rented space" in a woman's pregnant body? Might a 'toucher' view her as merely a vessel for conveying a future member of the community...her pregnancy is essentially public space?
2.) An analogy in race relations I heard recently comes to mind. Consider a white woman touching a black woman’s hair without permission. To the white woman, her hair is a curiousity. (Which apparently nullifies any sense of a personal bubble--or decency.) To the black woman, the action is an insult. She reports feeling as though she a doll—a child’s play-thing—to satisfy the woman’s curiosity. There is also the implication of upholding the paradigm of master and slave to this exchange, making the exchange racist.
3.) As for a male counterpart to your example: the best I can come up with is—as a redhead—being a source of hair-ruffling. Someone did this to me as recently as a few years ago. Not a family member mind you, a complete stranger. As a child it was barely tolerable. As a 28-year-old man: what the @%$#?!?
When a woman becomes pregnant her body goes from being private to being public. This occurs as a result of frequent doctor visits, sonograms, lamaze classes, classes in water delivery, touring the hospital maternity floor, baby showers, birthing at the hospital with the possibility of students nurses watching, after delivery care and don't forget the breast feeding.
ReplyDeleteDo strangers have the right to touch a pregnant belly? And the answer is no. I've touched different friends and associates bellies but I always asked permission. There is something about the new life that is growing that is exciting and makes people happy. It's the growing new life and the energy that is being emitted that attracts people. That's a good thing.
There isn't any exciting energy being emitted from a beer belly. You don't see people touching those adipose abdominal areas unless it's their plastic surgeon and he/she is doing a liposuction procedure.
Marcia: I disagree that a woman's body becomes public simply due to her pregnancy status. I think that Sean's comment about his red hair and white women touching black women's hair provides some good examples of how the boundary between what is considered public and private gets crossed. When a woman chooses to continue a pregnancy, that is her personal choice. Her body will exist within a public viewing space (as in we can see the physical changes), but her body does not become public property.
ReplyDeleteI think that the excitement that you're talking about (and that Lindsey and Alyse discuss--sisterhood and/or wonderment of new life) perhaps becomes a way of crossing the boundary. However, many women may want to keep their pregnancy to themselves and not share it with friends/strangers.
Let's think of the situation in a different way. Does an overweight person's body become public? Does a woman wearing hijab become public? Why is it that certain bodies suddenly become acceptable to comment on personal identity? When does the private body become a social issue? I think that a lot of it has to do with issues of power and norms. The norm for a female body is a slim/slender one: after all, after nine months of pregnancy, the body returns to a "normal" state.